


Fallen Angels.

by momobxmi (bitterbunnyy)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Character Death, Death, Gen, I don't know, I don't know how to do tags, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicide Notes, Witchcraft, for reach?, originally a wattpad book, umm, why do people put so many tags under their stories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:20:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29225343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitterbunnyy/pseuds/momobxmi
Summary: "some angels are destined to fall."⚠️ TW: suicide notes! this book is meant for entertainment purposes only. this is not to encourage suicide. this content may not be suitable for some readers, so reader discretion is advised⚠️the characters in this book are from the anime Haikyuu and belong to Haruichi Furudate*lowercase intended*
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	1. disclaimer.

please read the book description if you haven't already! thank you!

hi! first, i would like to start off by saying this book is not to encourage suicide. it is meant to be a way for me to express myself during my mental slump and to bring awareness to suicide as a whole.

many signs of depression go overlooked, which leads to many people taking their lives. even people you would never suspect could one day succumb to suicide, and i would like to bring awareness to that. (also, these notes are not going to be 100% realistic. there is a lot of pain and emotion that goes into a real suicide note which one cannot portray under normal circumstances)

as you know, Haruichi Furudate did a phenomenal job at creating the Haikyuu characters and giving them realistic backstories and personalities. because of this, i've decided to use them as the authors of these letters in an attempt to show that anyone can experience depression and anxiety. yes, i've mixed in some of my own personal headcanons to better get my point across, but these do not reflect the canon character in any way.

finally, i would just like to say that i won't be putting a tw at the beginning of every chapter. please consider this (and the book description) your tw. also, please don't attack me for this book. i'm really putting a lot into it as a last resort to pull myself out of this slump and start back creating books that you guys would actually want to read.

anyway, enjoy the book! and please, stay safe! <3

(hi! umm this is editing me here and i would just like to clear up a couple things lmao. shirabu and suga have the same initials but suga's chapter is before shirabu's! and also, these notes/events are not meant to be set in the same universe. ik it's confusing but like, when bokuto commited, akaashi didn't in that timeline. but in another timeline he did. if that makes sense. idk. take it how you wish. i'm just trying to explain why they don't reference each other's suicides in their notes lmao. )  
  
(double editing me here. i just wanted to say that this book was originally published on wattpad. but as time's gone on, i've realized that i don't like wattpad as much as i like ao3. wattpad is full of children writing smutt and that's not where i want to be. i'll be leaving this book up on wattpad under the name shirababe_, but i will now post all my stories to ao3.)


	2. -k.k.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kenma kozume.

kuroo, if you're reading this note, then that means that someone has found my body already. before you ask me why i did what i did, let me go ahead and answer you.  
  
i just felt like it.  
  
life is...kind of like a video game. i know that's like, so cliche of me to say right now, but it's true. it's exactly like a game with all of it's levels and boss fights. but, when you play the same game over and over, the levels begin to get repetitive and boring. suddenly, you start playing the game less and less; tired of being stuck on the same boring level for what seems like centuries. 

i was unmotivated kuroo. i went about my days the exact same way each time. waking up, school, volleyball, gaming, sleep, and repeat. it was boring. what was the purpose of living if each day would just play like a broken record.

don't get me wrong; i had hope. like when i met shoyo. for some stupid reason, i thought meeting him would open a whole new door for me. and it did!

that door just happened to drop off into a ravine i couldn't manage to escape from. and just like every video game i've ever played, i lost. and that was that. i had hit rock bottom, and my final battle with life was over. 

now for the real reason i wrote this note. it would be rude of me to just leave and not say goodbye. so consider this my goodbye. so long. farewell. godspeed. cheerio.

i really hope you laughed. i know that no matter what i say, it's gonna be hard for you to smile after this, and i'm sorry that it has to be this way. but please know that when you finally do smile, regardless of where i end up, i'll be smiling with you. 

thank you kuroo. thank you for being my best friend. and hey, when you get to be an old man and finally kick the bucket, come find me. i'll be floating around in the universe somewhere waiting for you with an extra controller. 

  
~ kenma kozume


	3. -s.k.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sugawara koushi.

to whoever is reading this,

no. i am not sorry for what i did. nowhere in this letter will you find an apology for the "sin" i have brought upon this world; for i may have taken my own life, but it was _**you**_ who truly killed me.  
  
religion is most certainly a pillar in the average japanese household, with most being shinto, buddhist, or dare i say, christian; but not everyone is the same. just like how you believe the bermuda triangle is a "myth" and only made from the imaginative mind of a grade schooler, i may say the same thing about your big man in the sky. 

"so how did we kill you? sugawara you chose the wrong path."

no. why say my path is wrong? religion has no correct answer. it's simply a matter of personal preference. why look down on that?

"koushi, you chose to take the path of witchcraft. that's a sin!"

every fucking day it was the same shit over and over. 

"oh you're so upset because you got replaced by your underclassman. so what? you became a majo to put a curse on him? disgusting."

i have never had ill intentions towards anyone, and my teammates should know that better than anyone else. my underclassmen were my pride and joy. asahi was my best friend. daichi was the best man i had ever met...

i took on witchcraft to be a healer. to help ennoshita with his insecurities. to help asahi with his confidence. to aid daichi in his leadership. to help hinata fly higher. to turn kageyama into the setter that i strived so hard to be.

but no. due to your close-mindedness and ignorance, you slowly killed me. you decided to kick me when i was already down. decided to act upon your own beliefs instead of trying to understand others. and now i'm dead. killed for simply being a "witch."

hinata, oikawa, yamaguchi, and iwaizumi. thank you. thank you for believing me and trusting my intentions. this is not your fault. 

please. continue to keep an open mind. don't let society kill anyone else. "for those who do not believe in magic will never find it."

  
~ sugawara koushi <3


	4. -s.k.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shirabu kenjirou.

y'know, i've waited for this day for a long time. i honestly feel like there is no point in doing things if there is no purpose. it's just a waste of time and resources. so what's the point of living? there is no purpose.

i've achieved a lot in my 17 years of life. i wanted to do so much more but..no. that's not what i am meant to do. i'm not supposed to reach adulthood. my story ends here. 

sometimes, i wonder if other people feel that way, y'know? like their life is supposed to end at a certain point in time, and if they live longer they'll be lost. 

shiratorizawa was my dream school. i worked my ass off in junior high, spending every free second i had studying just to get into this school. and i made it. but at what cost? my childhood apparently. but at least this is what i wanted. some people are less fortunate and end up working themselves to death for the sake of their parent's satisfaction. i couldn't imagine having to lose my childhood to achieve a future i don't even want.

but yet, here i am. drinking this tea filled with acetone, gently singing this sweet song i learned when i was younger and writing my final goodbye to a world that has become unsatisfactory for my taste. 

don't worry. my death was painless. the acetone would slowly kill my organs one by one and my heart will stop. yeah. i wanted to be a medical student. and honestly, if i had pushed further into life, i probably would've achieved that feat. but no. that's not what i'm meant to do. 

to my teammates: thank you. it was amazing being able to be apart of the team. from being a newbie to eventually becoming the official setter, i had it made. thank you for making the last few years of my life the best i would ever have. it's been fun.

  
~ shirabu kenjirou


	5. -a.k.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> akaashi keiji.

am i crazy? probably.

have you ever thought about death? like really thought about it?

what does it feel like? does it hurt? will i cry? will i fight for my life? and most importantly, what will happen after?

this question has bugged me for years. what happens after you die? i'm not religious, and even if i was, i could always be wrong. which sucks. that's what makes death scary but so intriguing at the same time. no one knows for sure of your destination until you get there.

i want to know. no, i NEED to know. this is something i have to do. i have to find out where we go. i know once i leave, i can't come back. but that's just the price you have to pay for knowledge.

bokuto i'm sorry. i'm sorry that i must leave you behind on this journey. you simply cannot come with me. you have too much to finish down here on earth.

but hey, don't be down about it! yes, this is the end of my book. but luckily, books have sequels. and we all know that book sequels are better than movie sequels. 

i'm going to miss you all. truly. this is a path that needs to be traveled by everyone sooner or later. i've just decided to pack my bags a little sooner than others. 

anyway, i must go now. please, don't let your journey in this world be halted by my transition to another. i've loved the time i spent on this book. but now, it's time to close this one for good and open the next. 

i hope to see you all again in the afterlife. heaven. hell. whenever it may be. i'll see you there. we'll meet again.

much love.

  
~ akaashi keiji.


	6. -b.k

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bokuto koutarou.

i'm sorry.

that's the only way i know how to start this note off. it doesn't matter who found my body. i'm still sorry. 

i know this is selfish. i know this is weak. but i'm tired. so so tired. living up to the expectations of others was never my thing. sometimes i wish i had been born a nobody, y'know? your average run of the mill guy who attended high school, had a few friends, and probably had a mediocre youtube channel or something. i don't know.

but no. i had to born a god in the eyes of the volleyball world. one of the strongest aces in japan. it was an honor to even be in the top 5! but no. that wasn't good enough. not for my family. not for my fans. not for my school. not for anyone. i was just never enough.

and i tried. i tried and fought so hard to be #1. and i didn't even want to impress anyone! i didn't do it for the medals. i didn't do it for the praise. i did it to avoid the disgusting aura of disappointment that would follow me around if i ever failed at anything.

but y'know what? i'm glad i kept pushing. i got to experience things that your average teenager wouldn't experience. i got to meet people i never would've met if i had never picked up a volleyball. i got to meet kuroo and kenma. i got to play against karasuno and their future tiny giant! (keep striving hinata! your teacher believes in you! :D) and most importantly, i got to meet akaashi, who became an amazing setter, and my best friend.

i'm sorry akaashi. i'm sorry i had to leave you. please don't cry! i'll never forgive myself if my selfishness makes you sad! :( wipe those tears away bestie! for your good pal bokuto! :D

i'm sure that this note will probably end up on the news or something. (since i'm so famous) but please. everyone. all of my friends. keep playing. keep fighting. because volleyball is fun! i just wish i could've enjoyed it the right way :')

i love you all so much! i love you the most akaashi! thank you guys for showing me that volleyball was still fun, even if it was only for a little while! <3

  
~ bokuto koutarou


	7. -t.s.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tendou satori.

hello dear reader.

it's seems you've found my note. lucky you... well perhaps we should play a game or two.

let's see if you can figure out who i am. but i assure you this isn't an exam.

my hair is red and my heart is gold. i'm sure you all know, but i'm 18 years old.

guessing games are usually my specialty. who knew one day this skill would fail me.

if i was truly a nice person, i could've lived longer.

but to everyone else i was quite the **monster**.

~

am i?

am i the monster?

i don't know who found my body or this note, considering that the two weren't in the same place.

if i had to take my best guess, i would say it's yamagata or semi.

did i get it right?

of course i did.

i'm the guess monster after all.

and you are the only two who regularly enter my dorm (haha)

isn't this the weirdest suicide note you've ever read?

yeah. it probably is.

but it's always been that way, hasn't it?

satori tendou has always been different.

he has always been a monster.

~

semi.

i didn't mean to.

you know that right?

don't blame yourself for this.

this isn't your fault.

my guessing skills are off.

i was just...SO sure that shirabu was going to hurt goshiki.

i was so sure...

but i guessed incorrectly,

and mistook his dramatic turn to walk away as a charge towards goshiki.

i punched him. that's my fault.

and you ran to him like i knew you would.

you cradled shirabu in your arms, muttering sweet nothings to calm him.

and then you turned to me. all respect you once had for me now gone.

washed away with the blood running out of shirabu's nose.

"tendou, you're a monster."

that's what you said to me.

do you remember?

probably not.

and you probably didn't mean it.

but i wouldn't know. i didn't stick around to find out.

i fled from the gym to my dorm,

wrote this note, 

and took one last guess.

how many pills can a 156 lb. male take?

i guessed about 7.

and guess what semi?

or yamagata

or whoever found this letter.

if you're reading this,

then this guess monster,

guessed incorrectly.

~ tendou satori


	8. -o.t.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oikawa tooru.

hi. i don't know who's reading this, and i can only hope it's iwaizumi, but it doesn't really matter. sit down. let's have a talk.

don't worry. my body is locked away in the bathroom. BUT WAIT.

please don't call the authorities yet. just listen to me. that's all i ever wanted. i just needed somebody to listen.

i didn't kill myself for attention. i got plenty of that. just not the kind i needed.

but no. i killed myself to finally bring an end to the worthless life i was living. i was suffering. i truly was. but nobody noticed that right? because i was the great king? because i was one of the greatest setters in the country? because i had fan girls? because of my worthless pride? what was it? what made everyone forget that i was a person?

i had it all. a perfect team. perfect status. i attended a great school and got good grades. i had amazing friends and interesting rivals. and my best friend since childhood was always by my side. so where did i go wrong?

i was still...unhappy. being praised all the time is nice, but i'm still human. basic kindness and love are necessary too. and yes, i thought i didn't need anyone. i thought i could succeed on my own and be happy without the help of anyone else. i kept everyone at a distance for years, forcing myself to focus on my image; both physical and social. i was perfect in the eyes of everyone. they worshiped me. i was tooru oikawa. nobody else was and ever could be me.

but then reality slowly hit me and i watched my world come crashing down around me. i had nowhere to go when i was upset. no one to run to when i was scared. no one to comfort me. no one held their hand out to me when i felt like the world was against me. just like all great kings who sit in their castle overseeing their precious kingdom, i was lonely.

you don't realize it until it's too late though. you've sat on your cloud for so long, high up in the sky enjoying the view, and only realized you want to come down when it's about to storm.

depression makes you do crazy things y'know? i started taking more of my pain meds than i needed to. i got admitted into the hospital several times for dehydration and malnutrition. i spent many nights crying to myself, begging and screaming for someone to come save me from myself. but considering the fact that i live alone coupled with the fact that no one would care, no one came to my rescue.

and finally, the darkest part of myself caught up to me. and that was the end of me. this was the end of tooru oikawa. but who would expect this from me? no one probably. yeah. depression is unexpected. and so is suicide. i'm sure i could've gotten help if i really wanted to. but at that point, help was worthless to me.

so, thank you for listening. it feels nice to be listened to and understood. don't worry. i died with a smile on my face. because that's what oikawa does. he smiles through everything, even until the very end.

thank you again. it means a lot. sorry i had to leave this world so soon. but please. don't forget me. don't forget tooru oikawa.

love and kisses,

  
~ tooru oikawa <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, i know i put his name as tooru oikawa through the whole thing but the chapter's initials are o.t. okay fight me dammit. anyway, that's the end of the book. oikawa's was honestly my favorite to write, so ofc i had to save the best for last. hope you guys enjoyed!

**Author's Note:**

> ummm so i'm just gonna upload this book here since it kind of flopped on wattpad. maybe it'll finally get the attention it deserves.


End file.
